Have you ever thought to yourself, “Ugh, why did I allow myself to eat that second piece of cake? It’s so bad. I’m so bad!” Or have you ever craved a piece of pizza for lunch and instead went for the salad and thought, “I’m so good for choosing the cleaner, healthier item.” 

We’ve all been there! It’s so easy to have those thoughts when we have been told all of our lives that there are good and bad foods. This is a huge challenge we face in Intuitive Eating because we often have the mindset of black vs white, good vs bad. We like categories! That is why we struggle so much when we’re told to live in the gray, be in the gray, and think about food in the gray. Intuitive Eating is meant to be in the gray. 

So, if we naturally categorize foods, why is that so bad? Let’s dive in!

When we say that food is good or food is bad, we are giving food morality. Food should not have morals. We don’t need to give it that power, but when we continue to view food as good vs. bad we allow ourselves to feel great or guilty for a short period of time. When we place certain foods on a pedestal or keep them off the pedestal, not only do we feel a sense of guilt or shame for having those foods, but we also tend to restrict those foods, deprive ourselves of those foods, and then binge those foods. Which is not a healthy relationship with food!

In order to make peace with food, we must view food as equal. Are some foods more nutrient dense than others? Are some foods more filling than others? Do some foods taste amazing compared to others? Yes to all of these! But that doesn’t mean the foods that aren’t as nutrient dense, aren’t as filling, and don’t taste spectacular are any less than. It comes back to being able to look at the piece of cake and a piece of broccoli and knowing that morality wise they are the same, but you choose the cake because you are wanting something rich and decadent and in that moment, broccoli wouldn’t suffice.

Shifting the mindset from black vs white increases our health in so many ways. Think about the mental health aspect for a second. How much time have you spent in your life obsessing over picking the “good” option on the menu? How much time have you spend feeling guilty for indulging in the “bad” food option?

Berating yourself constantly over your food is exhausting! You were not put on this earth to eat foods that cause such negativity. When we shift our minds to view food as equal, our mental health begins to improve. Here’s an example- you allow yourself full permission to eat cheese ravioli, yum! Not only do you not view the food as good vs bad, but you also don’t label yourself as good vs, bad. In addition, you enjoy this timely meal. You are satisfied. You provided yourself with carbs which will provide you energy. You provided yourself with fats which helps with hormone and cell function. You provided yourself with calcium, potassium, sodium which are important nutrients for daily functions. So, because you know you provided yourself with an amazing meal, you know have the mental capacity to spend time with your family, to do what you want, or to complete those taxes (because we all know that is exhausting!).

In addition to mental health, being in the gray zone allows us connect with others and enjoy the meal provided. I love this example. Think about Thanksgiving. You don’t immediately think of Thanksgiving as being the “healthiest” holiday, but everyone (I think) loves Thanksgiving! So, why? There are so many people around one table, talking with one another, enjoying each other’s company, eating delicious foods. What’s not to like?! Yes, the meal plays a big part, but I think that a lot of the excitement around Thanksgiving comes from being with friends and family gathered around a meal. So when we don’t give food morality, we are giving ourselves permission to be 100% present in that meal. We don’t have to worry if we got “enough good foods” and instead can listen to your grandmother tell a childhood story. You are engaged. You are pleased. You have the power, not the food.

To wrap this up, here’s my tidbit of advice on how to work on shifting to more of a gray area when it comes to foods. All foods fit in YOUR life. Unless you are deathly allergic to certain foods, please do not consume those. You are allowed to have a nutritious dinner and a dessert. The dessert doesn’t cancel out that nutritious dinner. The more you restrict and forbid those “bad” foods the more you will think about them, crave them, and give into them. 

As I said before, I have been in your shoes. I would micromanage every meal. I made sure “good” foods were always around and an option, but now I listen to MY BODY. If I am craving a certain food, I listen, I trust, and if I am able to at that moment, I honor it. Then that craving goes away and I move on with my day. It really is possible to live a life not controlled by food, and I believe it is possible for you!