How To Stop Hating Your Body

Have you ever noticed that once you say one negative thing about your body, everyone jumps in to bash a part of their body as well? We all participate in body bashing without a second thought. Diet culture has normalized hating our bodies, but what if we didn’t have to hate our bodies?

I’m not saying that you have to love every aspect of your body, but what I am saying is that you can learn to love and respect your body even when you don’t like what it looks like. 

Did you know that 97% of women wish they could change their bodies? That is almost all of the women that were interviewed. Not only is that wild to hear, it saddens me that almost all of my friends and family hate their bodies. When you look at your friends or hear your family members say they wish they could change this or that, you always provide them with reassurance that they are beautiful and don’t need to change. But do you believe that for yourself?

I remember being in second grade when I first thought I was fat. My mom had surprised my little sister and I with a trip to Disney World. We packed our new Mary Kate and Ashley swimsuits for the trip. There is this picture that my mom still has from the trip of my sister and I playing on a sand bar at one of the resorts in Disney. I was sitting down in my tankini and my I had a belly roll. I remember thinking how fat I was and how bad I looked. I look back and think that was the moment I started to hate my body. 

I grew up dancing. During dance practice I would always compare myself to the other girls thinking I looked fat in my leotard. Remind you, I only danced up until sixth grade. In sixth grade, I started to run 1 to 3 miles so I could “be fit.” I would lie to the gym attendant that I was 16 years old so I could go in and workout. I hated my body so much growing up that I would work out at any cost. 

I continued this negative relationship through high school. I remember only allowing myself to eat macaroni and cheese for one day because I was “dieting,” or I would see how long I could go without eating and then eventually cave. I still continued to run and workout like a maniac. I always said I could “eat whatever I wanted” since I worked out, but that wasn’t true. 

This picture saddens me. I took this picture after a run. I so proud of how I was looking, but in hindsight, I was very unhappy and in toxic relationships with myself and others.

All through college, I struggled with my body image. I would try crazy diets or weight loss tricks to keep me small. I would always “fall off the wagon” and start a new one. I eventually got to the point where I would only eat healthy, real foods and became orthorexic. It wasn’t until I started my dietetics career and COVID hit that I realized how unhealthy and toxic my relationship with my body was. 

I realized that I wouldn’t give myself rest days or allow myself to enjoy all foods for the price of living in a smaller body. I made that my whole identity. I look back at pictures of me in high school and college and think “Wow, I wish I knew then what I know now,” or, “I wish I knew how beautiful I’ve always been.” But that’s body dysmorphia at its finest. 

I tell you my story because I’ve pulled myself out of this self hatred cycle and you can to. Do I have negative thoughts about my body still? Yes, but do I allow it to consume me? Do I allow it to dictate how I live my life? No, and that’s what I hope for you too! 

So you may be thinking, “Okay, but how do I get to where you are?” Here are a few things I did and still do to help stop hating my body.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Everyone has a different story. Everyone has different genes and health concerns. It really is crazy and unrealistic to think that if we all ate and worked out the same we would be the same size. Someone could be sick or suffering from an eating disorder and be a smaller size. Someone could have no health concerns and be a bigger size. If you find that you are always comparing yourself, remember your worth does not come from the size of your body.

If you struggle with comparison on social media. I encourage you to unfollow anyone that triggers those feelings. I encourage you to unfollow anyone who promotes weight-loss, dieting or diet products. Try following more body positive social media accounts, or even better, take a break from social media. You really aren’t missing anything and you may find yourself more at peace of mind. 

Get comfortable. 

If you are wearing clothes that are too small, you deserve to get new clothes that fit! Seriously, how uncomfortable is it to be out to dinner with friends but can only focus on how tight your jeans are? It’s tempting to keep smaller clothes as motivation to “get back to that size,” but if you never do get back to that size, how discouraged will you be? It doesn’t mean you are any less of a good human because you didn’t get back to your early 20’s size. We are growing and aging! It’s NORMAL and we have to remember that!

Stop body bashing.

Friends don’t let friends talk poorly about their bodies. I refuse to participate in body bashing, because what does it really have to offer? Do you really feel that much better after engaging in that kind of conversation? No, most of the time you feel worse about yourself than how you did before the conversation started. Of course body bashing doesn’t always happen in a group setting. It can happen in your head. So next time you start to think about how big your arms are, I want you to focus on reframing your thoughts. Think about how amazing your arms are. Think about all of the hugs you can give people with your arms. Think about all of the babies or puppies you have been able to pick up with your arms. Tell yourself how much you love your arms. Positive thoughts and affirmations go a long way.

You are more than a body. 

I’ve said this before, but your body is the least interesting thing about you. When you provide a fun fact for an icebreaker most people don’t mention anything about their bodies. Usually they mention a characteristic about themselves. Another thing is to think about someone you love or is very dear to you. What do you love about them? What is your favorite thing about them? Guess what, I’m sure you won’t mention one thing about their body. It just isn’t interesting. Instead, you’ll mention their personality and character. 

I have found food freedom. I have learned to accept and love my body.

There is so much more to you than your body. All of these situations apply to you. Someone looks up and admires you for so many other reasons than your body. 

If you hate your body and are tired of unrealistic goals, then I challenge you to try out these tips to help you learn self love and respect. It takes time, so be patient with yourself. As I said earlier, do I never have negative thoughts about my body? No, they pop up once in a while and when they do I now have the tools to reframe my thoughts and switch those negative thoughts into positive ones. There is so much joy and happiness waiting for you! 

References: Tribole, E & Resch, E. Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works. 3rd ed. Aug 2012.